think the best & listen

Continuing our journey through Choosing Civility, Rule #3 is Think the Best. Now, I don't know about you but I'm a "the glass is half-full" kind of guy. I naturally give other people, even complete strangers, the benefit of the doubt. Well almost. While I do tend to think of myself as this kind of person I have met others who really give others the benefit. I once dated a girl in college who was bright, energetic, Godly, and I distinctly remember having a conversation about picking up hitch-hikers. "Without a doubt," she said, "I'd do it." I, on the other hand, wasn't so certain. My concern had to do with safety. "What if the person you pick up has a knife or gun?" I asked. It really didn't matter to my friend - the threat of violence only reinforced something she already knew - desperate people do desperate things like hurt others. To think the best in others requires courage and a degree of self-confidence because eventually the person you give the benefit of the doubt to will let you down. I don't know about you (especially if you're a "the glass is half-empty" kind of person) but I'd rather give others the benefit and risk being let down.

But there is a benefit to being a "half-empty" type of person as well. Anyone who knows this kind of person knows that it's difficult to earn their trust or respect or you fill in the _________. But what I've learned from the half-empties is that we need to be discerning in just how much trust, respect or _________ that we give to others. I learned this from my wife. While I teach her to see the best in and take a risk on others, she teaches me to ask questions and to be safe while taking appropriate risks.

Rule #4 - Listen. I'll take this a step further and suggest that we need to learn to be better listeners. If you answer yes to any of the following questions, chances are you are not a very good listener. 1) Do you check your email, text, or watch the television while having conversations with others (in other words are you easily distracted)? 2) Do you find yourself formulating your response in your head before the other person has finished speaking? 3) Are you into advice giving? 4) Who does most of the talking - you or the other person? 4) Do you make the conversation about you, your struggles and problems, or your successes?